Castle on a Hill

Beauty can so easily be known but overlooked, forgotten, neglected, and worst of all, not even seen. Yesterday we were driving by some orchards, and I’m looking  at the mountain that has been covered in bare scrub oak and snow for miles now. I’m enjoying the ride finding beauty in the landscape, when I suddenly tell my friend to stop.

I pointed and said, do you see what I see in the scrub oak? So we back up and I point again saying right through there! Now she sees it too! It took a good 20 minutes to figure out how to get up there, but we found a place to park on the hill and hiked through snow the rest of the way in.

Can I just say, that standing at ground level it looks like a hidden fortress! It was amazing! And the view! The lake was off in the distance with mountains behind it, and the sun was about to set. So the sun was giving off that golden glow on the water and on the snow all around us. There were deer, birds everywhere. It was like something out of a storybook.

How often have you felt like this? If someone would only take the time to get to know you they would see how amazing and beautiful you truly are! You might feel overlooked, forgotten, neglected and not even seen.

Honestly, being a 6 foot tall red head by the time I was in 6th grade, was not easy and still isn’t. Yes, when I walk in a room heads turn. They see me, judge me, and then I’m left standing alone while people continue to judge me. So at a young age, I had to learn how to walk up to someone and get them to talk to me, and make that person feel better than how I found them. And you know what? That alone made me feel better. I would spend the entire time talking about them. I would find out their story. They would learn nothing about me except now maybe where I work, because it had to be all about them. People like to be heard. It’s a way to connect. Yes, I would like to be heard too, but it’s not my time. I have walls to breakdown first.

Yes it can be exhausting to always be the one who has to make an effort. And as an adult, that still hasn’t changed. But that gives me a choice. I can choose to feel alone and be alone, or I can choose to make connections and make a difference in other peoples lives. I don’t want to be alone. I want to know joy from being around other people. I want people to see how beautiful they are and to know that they have a purpose.

So let them judge. Let them criticize. It’s only showing me their own insecurities so I know how to approach them. I know who I am and I’m happy with who I am. Do not give time for self doubt. No, this is not my whole story, only the beginning of it. But there are future blog posts for that!

Learn to love yourself. Make a plan and set goals that will get you there. And most importantly, don’t give up!

You are worth it! Be genuine, imperfect and uniquely you!



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